Friday, December 17, 2010

Tears of Pregnancy

So I cry, and I don't mean that I cry every once in a while, I cry all the time.  I take everything personally when Im NOT pregnant, but while I am pregnant, I take it personally X 100, and I cry.  I cry, and cry, and cry.  Corbin is always saying "Mommy crying"... That is so sad!  I take things that I KNOW in my heart aren't personal and make them personal.

For instance, Corbin's birthday party is tomorrow and every "no" that I have gotten has made me sad.  I know that people have other stuff going one, and it is the week before Christmas, and it is also the night of the Pearland Oilers going to state.  This is all important stuff, and so I understand that people will not be able to make it to Corbin's party, but for some reason, I always think "what if it is because they don't like me, or don't care about Corbin".  This is absolutely ridiculous, and I already know that, but for some dang reason, I can't help but take things personal.  But anyways, everything just makes me sad! PS- if you replied no to coming to Corbin's party, I am by no means upset with you!! I promise, I am just freakishly hormonal.

I should be excited that their are 15 kids and another 25 adults coming to his party. It is going to be lots of fun! I am super excited about it!  I knew when I made it that day that people would be busy! Im sure we'd be busy if I hadn't planned this several months ago!

I go as far as if my husband doesn't answer the phone or respond to an email, thinking that he is upset with me for some reason.  Clynt is BUSY at work and I know that, but I still just sat here and cried because he replied to en email saying that he can't talk right now.  Poor guy is dealing with an emotional roller coaster right now!!!

Okay, so you realize that I sit here and type this, I am crying.  I am horrible, I know.

On a good note, Corbin and I went and got his hair cut today so that he is all nice and pretty for his party tomorrow, and then we went and saw Santa.  He went in his lap with no problem, but wouldn't cheese for the camera.  He was just really interested in everything else.  Then we went to the coloring table down the little hall and he was through coloring and he put my crayons up and he took off.  I had to get my fat butt up and chase after him, and when I got to him he was handing his picture to Santa.  It was the cutest darn thing in the world.  Santa looked and me and just smiled, he was just in love with Corbin.  So we had a very good morning.  Then we had to run and get stuff for the party, and while in WalMart we got a deli lunch thing for dinner, and Corbin felt so special.  He is such a cutie!

The holiday season around here is going wonderful, if I could just stop crying about everything!  That is my number one prayer on my list for myself right now, and I am trying my hardest to just trust in the Lord, because I know he has everything under control, and their is no need for me to worry about anything!


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1 comment:

  1. Deanna your emotions are all ok and don't apolgize for them whether you are pregnant or not!!!! You are the sweetest person I've met in a long time and a AMAZING mother and wife to boot!!!! You know deep down you are!!!! When you cry, it's the baby's way of saying I'm here mama. When you get sick, he's saying I'm here mama! It's all the amazing process of you growing the most precious thing inside of you! Gods gift! Take care and I hope Corbin has an amazing party tomorrow, no matter who shows up, he always has a great mama!
    Hugs,
    Carey

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